Then it Dawned on Me
by lotsofcoffee
Summary: When Richard Castle is shot during what should have been a routine arrest, Kate Beckett finds herself realizing it's time to admit that he means much more to her than she leads on.


Kate Beckett's heart rate sped up as her body crashed to the ground, taking Castle down with her. She grabbed her gun and took her final shot at the suspect, and he fell to the ground as the bullet penetrated the shoulder of his shooting arm. Esposito & Ryan ran to him form where they'd been taking cover, taking him into custody. Kate's hand came up to her heart as she felt it becoming damp. She was overcome with horror when she found herself soaked in blood. As she tried to find where the bullet had struck her, she heard Castle groan beside her.

"Castle, I got sho-" Kate felt her head spinning as everything slowed down around her. "Rick? Rick!" She grabbed his face, his eyes desperately searching hers. She felt her eyes sting but refused to allow her emotions to get the best of her right now.

"Ryan! Castle's down! Get a paramedic, now!" She ordered before turning back to her partner whose eyes continued to blink lazily. "Rick, come on. Stay with me.  
>Okay? Just keep your eyes right here," She pointed straight at her eyes and he nodded slowly. "The paramedics are on their way." She took a hold of his hand, squeezing it lightly as her mind raced to find ways to keep her tears from streaming down her face. She heard the faint tone of sirens, but kept her eyes locked with Rick's.<p>

After the paramedics arrived, it all felt like a blur. Kate's hand seldom left Rick's as the EMTs cared for him. Before she knew it, she was being rushed through a hospital, running side by side with Rick's gurney. It was only when a nurse tapped her shoulder numerous times that she realized it was time to let go. The nail of her right index finger came up to her teeth and she began to chew on it as her nerves began to get the best of her. Up until that moment, she'd been lost completely in thought of holding Rick's hand, constantly going over the day. It started off normal, Castle brought her coffee, their playful banter continued as they tried to crack the case they'd been working on for 2 days. Finally, Castle found the break they'd been looking for. They got in the car, Esposito & Ryan trailing close behind as they made their way to the suspect's apartment. They thought it'd be a quick arrest. When Esposito had broken through the door and found the suspect holding a gun, she'd asked Castle to stay outside. Of course he hadn't listened. Damn him for not listening! He'd followed her in, shots began to fly and before he could take cover from the bullets, the curly-haired bastard had taken his aim at Beckett. Damn his lousy aim for missing her & hitting Castle! And she'd tackled him to the ground, not even thinking to check where the bullet had ended up. All she was thinking about was where her bullet was going, and it went straight into his shoulder as she'd hoped. While Ryan & Esposito were busy arresting their perp, her mind suddenly fell back to where his bullet had gone. She thought she'd been shot when she felt the damp blood on her shirt. It hadn't even crossed her mind that it might be Castle. When she heard him groan, she thought she hurt him when she'd tackled him to the floor. That thought was immediately gone when she saw very clearly that the bullet had hit him just to the right of his left shoulder, blood seeping through his shirt. Thoughts began to fly through her mind, but after she'd informed Ryan and he was taking care of getting the help, all she could think about was how absolutely terrified she was. She'd known at the far end of her mind that Castle would be fine; the bullet hit him, yes, but she knew it was away from vitals. Deep down, Kate knew she over-analyzing a situation that wasn't life-threatening, but her brain was still racing & just wanted to know he was alright.

"Detective Beckett!" The voice cut into her thoughts. She looked up to find herself face to face with the youngest Castle.

"Alexis, hi." She tried to sound calm, but tears were still rolling down her face. As she ran her hands over her shirt, she felt his dried blood and quickly wrapped her arms around herself.

"What happened? Is he okay?" She saw a flicker of something in the girl's eyes she'd never seen before and it took a moment before Kate realized it was anger.

"He was shot about here," Kate started, pointing to a spot near her own left shoulder. "Didn't hit any vitals, through & through. From past experience, I'd say he should be out of here in 2 days, max. They need to get the wound cleaned up and keep him monitored for a while." Kate tried to keep her voice steady.

"Great. Perfect! Just perfect! I told him to stop this little game of cops. He's not a cop! You're a cop! He shouldn't have been in the line of fire!" Alexis was nearly yelling now.

"Alexis! Stop that right this minute young lady! You know Detective Beckett would never have put your father's life in danger on purpose. This was an accident." Martha lightly pushed Alexis until she was seated in one of the waiting room chairs.

"No, Martha. She... she's right. He shouldn't have been there. I put him in the crosshairs." Kate said in a small whisper as she took the seat beside Alexis. "Alexis,  
>I'm sorry. Your dad shouldn't be in here. And if it wasn't for that guy's lousy aim, I'd be the one in that operating room. And if I could trade places with him, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Please understand that I tried my hardest to keep him out of harm's way." Kate was pleading with the young girl, but Alexis wouldn't even look her in the eye.<p>

"You clearly did a great job." She muttered under her breath, crossing her arms over her chest. This was a side of Alexis Kate Beckett had never seen.

"Alexis!" Martha's voice was stern and startled the teen. "Disrespecting Detective Beckett will not help the situation, it'd only anger your father. You're being silly.  
>Now, I understand that your father is in the hospital, but they said his injury is not life-threatening so there's no reason to be upset with anyone but the man who pulled the trigger." Alexis sighed, visible tears filling her eyes.<p>

"Why don't I go get you two something to drink? We'll be here for a while." Kate tried to make ammends, standing up and wiping her tear stained cheeks with a sleeve.

"Darling, that's not necessary."

"Martha, I insist. Tea? Coffee? Water?" She listed quickly.

"Water's fine, thank you." Alexis whispered faintly and Martha nodded inagreement.

"I'll be back in a few minutes." Kate tried to give them a smile before walking in direction of the elevators.

_It's going to be a long night_, she thought as the doors opened before her.

* * *

><p><strong>First fanfic in about 3 years, also my very first Castle fanfic. Short, I know. The succeeding chapters will be longer:) Reviews? Please?<strong>


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